I had a gut-churning reminder this week how tricky is the relationship between therapists and money.
When I teach EFT Level 2 I ask people to complete a number of sentences so we can look at the beliefs that are running them and where they came from. One of the sentences is: “Rich people are… “ Further back in history I worked with hypnotherapy students on setting up a practice. In both contexts, I have run up against a wide range of negative beliefs about therapy and money.
Many feel there is a contradiction between helping people and being given money for it. They are drawn to use EFT as practitioners or to be hypnotherapists because they want to help people. But they still need to pay mortgages and eat. Often what I find is that there is a real inner split between the need to earn a living and a distaste for making money from helping people in distress.
I have had to work through it myself. Probably I am still not really there. I know, in my head, that I have spent a fortune on training courses, books, DVDs – way beyond what any financially savvy business would invest in training one person. I have spent more money on promoting EFT than I would really care to add up.
Taking money from people who spend time with us can still trigger a lot of “Am I worth it?” no matter how much time, money and thought we have put into being the therapist we are now. At the end of the session, there is nothing we can put in a carrier bag and hand to a client and take away.
When therapists work with clients what they sell is their expertise, their energy, their time, their close attention, their intention. The outcome is the client’s. If a client decides, as some do, that they would rather put up with what they have than make the changes they need to have things other, that is not a failure of the therapist, or the therapy method, or the client. It is a choice. It is the client’s prerogative to choose. I am sure my students get sick of hearing me say: “Let go of the outcome” When we don’t, we start unconsciously steering clients where we think they should go, rather than letting them find the way they want.
I thought I had all this fairly sorted after all these years But I had a reminder this week that we are always still works in progress. It came as a shock that I had such a visceral reaction to an email which said: “When we become a money-making scheme the point is lost.” It was not an abstract thought. There was more. it was clear it was accusing me.
It was provoked by a newsletter in which I told subscribers they could see a free video of abundance expert Carol Look talking to Jessica Ortner (of the World Tapping Summits team) on attracting more income (http://tinyurl.com/3zrw9gh if you want a look). I try to make sure former students and other subscribers to my newsletters know what is out there free at different times.
In my head, the value of this particular content to my newsletter subscribers would be greater because so many therapists have so many blocking beliefs about earning that they would benefit from clearing. I also thought that, as they are all EFT fans, they would be interested to watch Carol Look.
Naive perhaps. I did not see it as encouraging readers to make greedy money. But I believe the labourer is worthy of his/her hire. The person who sent me the email reproach seemed to read it as my way of encouraging therapists to use EFT to rip people off.
Excuse me, now. I need to go away and tap.