BORROWING EFT BENEFITS

One of the most intriguing things about EFT is what is called Borrowing Benefits.  It  describes the way we can literally borrow benefits when we tap with someone else on their  problem and find we have , incidentally, cleared something of our own at the same time.

EFT founder, Gary Craig , formulated Borrowing Benefits after practitioners noticed that when they tapped with clients they got rid of things of their own.  Since good practitioners deliberately put their own stuff elsewhere while they are working with clients this seems truly remarkable.  But most tapping practitioners will tell you the same thing ..

My first experience of Borrowing Benefits was in a group f 15 EFTers who went together to California back in 2003 to do advanced training with Gary Craig in his own home.  The deal was that, as Gary did not want to come here, we would go there. He would teach us free and  he would demonstrate what he was teaching us by working with us one at a time while everyone else tapped.  He would video the sessions for the Borrowing Benefits series of DVDs he was putting together at the time, ready to launch the concept worldwide.  (In the end, only one session from that week made the cut. The others were cursed by sound problems. )

I have always suspected Borrowing Benefits might be at its most efficient when the tapping had a theme that was relevant to everyone in the group, even if the specific aspects were not.   And so it has proved in a series of sessions I have just finished.   I have done them with two people wanting to work on issues about eating, weight and body image.  They both tapped on what they wanted to clear, as well as what the other did, and found it surprising how often something changed even when they were just joining in with the other person, rather than staying their own path.

I have recorded the sessions so others can also use them tap along with these two clients as a way of clearing their own related issues.  They come with  a bonus free eWorkbook which is not a programme , but a way of provoking thought about the theme.  Experience tells us that we borrow benefits most efficiently when, even though  we are not focussing on our own stuff at the time,  we have paid some attention to it before we put it back on the back burner.

If you would like to try them, the link to my tapping shop is http://www.judybyrne.co.uk /products.htm.  If you decided to try them I would appreciate any feedback you are willing to share.

Masterclass update.  The EFT Masterclass 2011 now has a Facebook notice board you are welcome to join  (http://tinyurl.com/6g9yx6r) if you want to be kept posted about developments.   The latest is that, besides presentations by me and six other EFT Masters – Sue Beer, Emma Roberts, Ann Ross, Tania Prince, Gwyneth Moss, and Jaqui Crooks,  we are using the eighth session for group mentoring.  Which means you can ask anything you want to know more about from any or all of us.  ( I wonder if any question will get seven completely different answers.)

The Masterclass is in York on October 22/23 and if you want the best accommodation deals don’t leave it late to book.  York is a popular half-term destination, even when it doesn’t also have a Masterclass to offer as well.

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AM I WORTH IT?

I had a gut-churning reminder this week how tricky is the relationship between therapists and money.

When I teach EFT Level 2 I ask people to complete a number of sentences so we can look at the beliefs that are running them and where they came from.   One of the sentences is:  “Rich people are… “  Further back in history I worked with  hypnotherapy students on setting up a practice.  In both contexts, I have run up against a wide range of negative beliefs about therapy and money.

Many feel there is a contradiction between helping people and being given money for it.  They are drawn to use EFT as practitioners or to be hypnotherapists because they want to help people.   But they still need to pay mortgages and eat.  Often what I find is that there is a real inner split between the need to earn a living and a distaste for making money from helping people in distress.

I have had to work through it myself. Probably I am still not really there.  I know, in my head, that I have spent a fortune on training courses, books, DVDs – way beyond what any financially savvy business would invest in training one person.   I have spent more money on promoting EFT than I would really care to add up.

Taking money from people who spend time with us can still trigger a lot of  “Am I worth it?” no matter how much time, money and thought we have put into being the therapist we are now.  At the end of the session, there is nothing we can put in a carrier bag and hand to a client and take away.

When therapists work with clients what they sell is their expertise, their energy, their time, their close attention, their intention.   The outcome is the client’s.   If a client decides, as some do, that they would rather put up with what they have than make the  changes they need to have things other,  that is not a failure of the therapist, or the therapy method, or the client.  It is a choice. It is the client’s prerogative to choose.   I am sure my students get sick of hearing me say: “Let go of the outcome”   When we don’t, we start unconsciously steering clients where we think they should go, rather than letting them find the way they want.

I thought I had all this fairly sorted  after all these years   But I had a reminder this week that we are always still works in progress.  It came as a shock that I had such a visceral reaction to an email  which said: “When we become a money-making scheme the point is lost.”   It was not an abstract thought. There was more.  it was clear it was  accusing me.

It was provoked by a newsletter in which I told subscribers they could see a free video of abundance expert Carol Look talking to Jessica Ortner (of the World Tapping Summits team)  on attracting more income  (http://tinyurl.com/3zrw9gh if you want a look).   I try to make sure former students and other subscribers to my newsletters know what is out there free at different times.

In my head, the value of this particular content to my newsletter subscribers would be greater because so many therapists have so many blocking beliefs about earning that they would benefit from clearing.   I also thought that, as they are all EFT fans, they would be interested to watch Carol Look.

Naive perhaps.  I did not see it as encouraging readers to make greedy money.  But I believe the labourer is worthy of his/her hire. The person who sent me the email reproach seemed to read it as my way of encouraging therapists to use EFT to rip people off.

Excuse me, now.  I need to go away and tap.

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SOWING SEEDS OF DISTRUST

If  you have a website you probably know that the Advertising Standards Authority in the UK now has the same power over what  we have on our websites as  they did over what we put in hard copy ads in magazines and directories.  So far, so good.  No one wants untruthful claims to be blessed or even ignored.  Decent, honest, legal…  sounds fair enough.

But is it so black and white?

Having started out left-brained, proof-needy in a deterministic Western scientific mould, I do understand about putting our proof where our mouths are.  It is not okay to make wild claims without evidence of efficacy.

But what I have also come to understand in my long journey from left brain to right is that many therapies are not good material for traditional Western scientific proof.  Good science demands that we treat every subject in an experimental group in exactly the same way.  Good integrative therapy demands that we treat every client in our practices in a different way, determined by our informed guess about what will work best for each person who walks through our office door.

So that is the first stumbling block to the otherwise sound idea that we have to “prove” our therapy works.   And it is why people coming from a hard science background find it difficult to accept our kind of evidence as genuine proof.

The second is placebo.  Until a few decades ago, doctors did not have a lot more to offer  many of their patients than a good bedside manner and a sugar pill in a choice of colours. (“No, doctor. I find the red ones are much better for me than the blue.” )  Now it is illegal to prescribe a placebo.  We have to be transparent.  Medications must  list all known side-effects despite the nocebo effect, and not only on hypochondriacs.  Drugs companies also have to reveal the studies where their drug did little better than placebo – or risk Freedom of Information exposure.  

I favour transparency.  But a little bit of me regrets the loss of this systematic harnessing of the ability the body often has do its own healing, given the right conditions.

For right conditions read “sugar pill” or “therapist reassurance.”  Our therapeutic equivalent to the sugar pill is what we tell clients we can do.   When a client  rings or emails to ask if we have had experience of dealing with a certain condition and what results we have had, honesty demands that we tell them that what happened last time doesn’t not predict what will happen when we work with them.  Or they will ask: “Does EFT work for …. “ What they want to hear, and might also have enough of a placebo effect to make the difference is: “Yes.”   

Despite my awe of how humans can do placebo and my desire to harness it in my work, I have always felt compelled to say something like:  “Everyone is different .  I cannot give you any sort of a guarantee about you.  But I am willing to try it you would like to.“    And I add: “In any case EFT doesn’t work with conditions. It works with people who have conditions.”   I am sure I have lost clients to a better sales pitch.

But is even that enough?   Now, hard on the heels of the change in the law, some scientists have  been competing to see who can report most alternative therapists successfully to the Advertising Standards Authority.  And some therapists have been sharing their concerns about suspected attempts at entrapment.  When you have an unusual but identical enquiry several times in a few days, you do wonder.

If I am truthful and careful and measured in what I say I can offer do I have anything to worry about?  Yes.  I do. It is this.  I find I have started to read emails and listen to calls from prospective clients not just with openness and honesty  but  with suspicion.   And I hate it.  It is not where I want to be in my relationships with clients or prospective clients  – reading/hearing  a story and wondering if the author has invented it to try to trap me.   

I believe I am decent, honest, legal.  But am I a better therapist  for having to be so careful that I might offend a group of scientists with an agenda to protect clients from therapists not conforming with their view of the world?   

MASTERCLASS UPDATE

New developments on the EFT Masterclass 2011 on October 22/12 in York:

 You can book now at the best price and pay in instalments from now until September.  To do it go to http://www.eftevents.com .  While you are there click on my page. I have added a podcast of How to turn EFT your inner critic into your tapping buddy and a pdf on Working with imaginary memories. Both free.

Other presenters are:  Sue Beer, Jaqui Crooks, Gwymeth Moss, Tania Prince.  Emma Roberts, and  Ann Ross,   There are pdfs or podcasts on some of their pages already and more being added all the time.

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THE EFT PARADOX

EFT is a paradox.

On one hand, it is a technique so easy-to-learn that everyone can use it to deal with stress, anxiety, unwanted emotions.  Its  developer Gary Craig gave it freely to the world.  I, too, have an obsession with telling as many people as will listen how they can use it for themselves.  I scarcely dare say this but I think my app for iPhone and touch iPod is now working as it was meant to.   Not only de-glitched but revised.   So if you tried to download it and failed, do try again.  If you did download you might want to update. It is free. (http://tinyurl.com/4mhey68). Unfortunately for the moment it is not being offered for iPad.  That is a whole other story.   Hang on while I go away and tap about that …

The other face of EFT is a powerful, subtle transformative  tool which skilled and experienced therapists can use in their work so it becomes, for clients, less painful, faster, more thorough, more relevant to their lives outside the therapy room and more lasting than therapy might otherwise be.

It is because we know so well that it is a continuing journey that the EFT Founding Masters have an annual Masterclass in the UK at which we share learnings from our journeys.  Each Masterclass been different in character and flavour.  And the sixth – in York on October 22 and 23 – (www.eftevents.com) will be no exception.  This one will have seven  of us presenting to the whole group.  No difficult choices between options for people who attend.

Unfortunately, there are difficult choices for presenters.  For me it is an annual dilemma.  Every year there seems to be so much exciting new stuff  from my reading and thinking and studying other therapists’ ideas and – and this is the biggie –  learning from teaching others and working with clients – that I never quite know how to encapsulate it into a presentation with a theme, a focus, a time-limit and a good chance that it will be useful to many other EFTers.

EFT for dealing with trauma is one of my passions.  I did a presentation and a workshop on working with trauma with EFT at the Manchester Masterclass in 2009* It was about having a therapy framework for trauma, not just thinking we can tap it away.  I think trauma – “everyday trauma “ as well as the big stuff – underlies so much that brings people into therapy.  Fortunately it is also one of the things EFT does best

But I think we are, to quote Gary Craig, on the ground floor of the healing high rise. And that some of what will take us up to the next one is not how we tap but how we are when we tap.  This means going beyond the personal peace plan/personal therapy to clear as many of our own issues as we can before we work with others.  This is about peeling away another layer of the onion and learning much more about who we are and how to be how we would like to be in therapy sessions.   And what’s sauce for the therapist is sauce for the client as well.  It is about teaching clients more than how to do a round of tapping.   This is why I have been looking at Mindfulness, both for me and for how it fits with working with trauma clients.

I also think we have an obligation to keep up with discoveries that may be relevant to what we do.  I think new understandings in neuroscience also have a lot to offer us in the way we approach doing therapy.  This is not about how we tap but how we make informed decisions about what to tap on.

So I have two different strands to my thinking about how to move my own trauma work to the next  level – and maybe how to shape my Masterclass presentation.  One bolt-on is Mindfulness.   The  other is neuroscience, or an understanding of developments in neuroscience and their implications for us.  How does each deepen our understanding both of ourselves and of how EFT can be most relevant and most effective?

The next stage for me, is to decide whether to talk about one or both and if one only, which one.

Please feel free to tell me what you think.

*  I have a DVD of the Manchester presentation and accompanying resources handout available to buy.  I have also made DVDs on dealing with all levels of negative memories.   You can find them on http://www.judybyrne.co.uk

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MY VIRTUAL THERAPY DREAM

What I love about my job in this strange virtual   age is the way things you do live on beyond the day you do them, as my morning email so often reminds me.

When I was a young(ish, well new) therapist, the work had enormous immediate rewards.  There were clients who left feeling you had shared their journey as they turned their lives around.  Clients would sometimes send a Christmas card with an update on how they continued on this new track.  Clients came referred by previous clients with high expectations that you could help them in the same way.  Doing therapy is such a privilege. People you have never met before allow you such intimate access to their secret inner lives.

I love that. It still happens. I had a message on my answering machine the other day from a former client saying a day never goes by that she does not think of the work we did together as she does something easily and comfortably that was pretty much an impossibility for her before we began.

Now my work has added another dimension. This virtual world is a community which embraces people whose lives I discover I have somehow touched without ever meeting them – another great privilege.  Things like being a presenter in the World Tapping Summit 2010* at the end of last year and in the Trauma Telesummit last month**  Things like taking part in EFT special broadcast weekends on Practice Building and EFT for Weight.***  I get emails from people I may never meet saying how much something I said helped them to move on or opened up a rich seam of new possibilities for them.

I just went on YouTube to see how many hits my DVDs introducing EFTand explaining the EFT tapping points have had (30,000 and 15,000 respectively).   Being lazy I just put in a search for my name and other things popped up and surprised me.  I have presented at events for which I did not have the filming copyright so I keep turning up where I don’t know I am.  Or people email to ask me questions about something I said on a DVD and leave me wondering: “What DVD?”

Now there are two very contrasting additions to my work coming up.

There is my new EFT app for iPhone/Pad/Pod (touch) which, after some teething troubles, should be working better and for more people when the revised edition is released in about ten days.  The first seemed reluctant to talk to anything less than an iPhone 4.  It is at this minute being given a good talking to.  That was never its brief.  My hope is that it will take EFT to many, many more people, most of whom I will never meet, but who will discover through it how we can all tap into this great self-help and therapy tool.  Maybe once in a while one of them will email me and tell me it was useful to them.

The second is joining with six other EFT Masters to run and present at the EFT Masterclass 2011 in York, on October 22/23.  I have run one on my own and one with two other masters.  Now we are seven.  The event is booking already on http://www.eftevents.com.   It will be mega in EFTland with EFT enthusiasts, practitioners and trainers getting together to catch up on what we are up to in our work, to learn from one another, to network, to share, and to have fun together.

I have a fantasy about this person who downloads the app, is intrigued, learns more, become an EFT addict, comes to the Masterclass and introduces himself or herself to me and tells me that is their story.   It could happen. In this infinitely networked age, it really could.

* For the 2011 World Tapping Summit go to: http://tinyurl.com/645dqsm There are some great free videos up there right now.
**The trauma telesummit is  http://tinyurl.com/47tcqtl
***These and lots of other audios are to be found on http://tinyurl.com/4tb43uf

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Getting the word out

I (as of now almost) have an app.  I think it is the first EFT app for iPhone, iPad and touch iPod.  And I am just so delighted to think of people travelling on trains and buses, sitting at home in front of the television or over breakfast or finding a way to kill a little waiting time – maybe hanging on forever in a helpline queue  – people I have never met and mostly never will starting to get to know about EFT from it.

Getting the EFT word out there in every way I can has long been my passion. I love doing workshops both for people who want to use it in therapy and people who just want to use it for themselves.  I have put videos on YouTube to help people get started.  I have written a free How to Get Started eBook.   I have put that and lots of other resources on my website.  I have presented to conferences on EFT and its uses in the UK, the US,  Switzerland, Australia.  And now I have made an app and made it free hoping it will spread the word even more widely.

You may be reading this blog on my app.  If you are it is no longer in the Apple review queue.  If you are not but would like to be able to, you can get it from iTunes or via the link on the home page of my website. It is for iPhone, iPad and touch IPod.  (If you have it, I would love feedback on it.  Suggestions will help shape the first upgrade. )

EFT seems a natural for an app.  It is so much a therapy tool of the 21st century that apping tapping  was the obvious next step.  Right from the start  EFT was of its time – a paradox for a therapy that can trace its roots back  with reliable carbon-dated evidence  5,500 years.  That’s how long ago we know people had the idea of points on meridians being relevant to what they were suffering and using pressure or bamboo splinters and later needles on those points.

Yet EFT – or Emotional Freedom Techniques –  would never have taken off at the speed that it did without the Internet.  Gary Craig had the inspired idea and a passion for spreading it.  He trained in TFT – Thought Field Therapy – and almost immediately began to devise and then circulate EFT,  his own somewhat simpler take on it.  EFT feels to me more client-centred and self-help-friendly.   The procedure doesn’t get in the way of the two-way therapist-client bond that is so vital to successful therapy.  It also empowers clients to take it off as a tool to use for themselves outside the therapy room and after therapy ends.

What Gary had going for him was that he was not only therapeutically creative but a good marketer and that meant  he was Internet savvy.  No one who was not could have built up a newsletter circulation list of more than half a million in less than 20 years.  EFT is huge and still growing.

I confess to having taken more than a little persuading when I first came across EFT.  I could see it worked.   But I did not really get why tapping on points on the energy system should have such a profound effect.  And then, when I pondered what proof we have that we have energy systems, the penny finally dropped. We do not have energy systems.  We are energy systems. Einstein said a long time ago now that everything was energy.   It took humans a while to realise that that meant us, too.

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